DII: Core Thesis Essay — Insecurity as a Stable Equilibrium

This pattern will reappear later under a more explicit name: 

Interpersonal Engineering—the deliberate use of timing, ambiguity, and optionality to improve one’s personal risk‑reward profile while externalizing coordination cost onto others. Here it is described descriptively, not judgmentally; later, it will be treated analytically as a system‑level optimization strategy rather than a psychological trait.

Modern dating systems do not primarily reward connection formation. They reward insecurity management.

The most successful actors are those who can:

• Remain desirable without attaching
• Stay warm without committing
• Stay visible without deciding

This is not maturity.

It is adaptive fragility.